12/19/07

i like to look at you--yes, you--in the rearview window of my car and ask myself what you're sayin' about me, what you're thinkin'


There is a 10 gallon fish tank in my father's office that is perpetually empty, yet never gets dirty. On the other hand, for some reason my black tea is cloudy--no, I did not put milk in you--no, I am not going to put milk in you. No.

On the way back from my friend's house to my mother's workplace today I not only drove all the way down N. Greensboro St. until it turned into Hillsborough Rd. but also until it turned into Old NC-86 and hit Homestead Rd. Once at my mother's workplace, I then proceeded to drive half-way over a median (3 feet wide, 1 foot tall) before realizing "oh shit".

I am distracted.

My camera is broken. Likely culprit? Rechargeable batteries do not come fully charged.

My family is bad at Christmas. My sister opened her Nintendo DS yesterday (after begging and pleading for 2 weeks) and my mother opened some fancy running-device. Yes--they knew what they were opening. I am not so innocent, myself. I am discovering portable music--with wifi!

My sister and I listened to WCPE ("The Classical Station") as I drove her back from piano lessons last night. Around 9PM a joke was made: "And today we celebrate the birthday of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, without whom WWI would not have been possible." I got to explain the joke to my sister (with heavy emphasis on "this was not the only reason WWI started"), and she laughed, at the end. I wonder how much different my life would have been had I had parents able to explain these cultural references to me, to correct my pronunciation. I have found myself, for many years now, explaining to them, correcting them. I think I have learnt things, though, and not because I am the one in the authority position--I am not. I have learnt things about other countries, and other worldviews, and destruction, and oppression. These are pretty valuable lessons.
All the same, in all likelihood I won't be giving up being able to explain cultural references, and correct pronunciation to my potential children by moving across the globe.

12/7/07

i hope you don't think i'm crazy

I'm slowly rediscovering things that were obvious to me in childhood.
So far:

1) The hot/cold sides of the bed dynamic. If you stay too long at one side of the bed, you get too hot. If you shift too often, the bed doesn't get warm until well after you've woken up. Solution? Moderate shifting throughout the night, timed so that you're at a perfect temperature always.

2) Shapes. The AC/Heat unit in the room was very loud last night and as I was trying to go to sleep caused shifting images behind my eyes. I remember being fascinated with these when I was around 5 or 6, at some point I just started to ignore it--I'm not exactly sure why. They appear different depending on what's going on, and are more intense with my eyes closed or lack of visual input (i.e. dark room). I can focus on them / see them best at night, when I'm trying to shut down, but even now they're sort of present. It appears to be a constantly shifting separated tessellation. Each piece is what I want to call fractal-y. I wish there was some way of taking a picture of this for better understanding. I'm not quite sure if they have color. They do, but it is more like the rainbow in a spot of oil on a sunny day type of color than a very solid visual.

3) Girls all hate each other.

4) The richer and heavier the better. Lately I've taken to ordering Breves instead of Lattes when I want a milk-espresso fix. Steamed half-and-half with espresso, yes.